In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
