So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
