i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
