I can tuck mytits in my pants
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
