her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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