super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she peed on how many people?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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