Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
