Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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