Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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