But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it because I queefed?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
