he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
