Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
