We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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