is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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