We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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