it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
