i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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