his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
