she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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