Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
