Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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