you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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