Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize