I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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