with your own penis?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
