I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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