if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
