dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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