I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize