so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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