Barsexuality is the new black.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize