how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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