I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
