first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
