It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
