hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
