called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize