While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
