For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
