I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
