it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize