Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
