it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize