i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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