Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize