I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
