My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
