are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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