he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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