i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
