I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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