I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
