I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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