No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
