When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
