Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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