We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
