I cockslap morals
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
